Stronger Through The Years

Today was a day of pure joy and sorrow. I got to spend most of the day with Joan and her daughter, Joia. Joan will be the gatekeeper of my loft after Friday, she has the keys and the garage door opener, making her the only person besides me having keys to the kingdom.

What today taught me is that in all of the hurt, pain and struggles I went through with Joan, in the end we have become closer and more as one than we have ever been. All those years I loved her, never realizing that she loved me too, but not in the same way or intensity I did. She dated other men, I dated other women, but in the end, here we are, still in each other's heart.

Even after eight years of me saying that I would never see this woman again, I knew had had too because if I didn't then I truly hadn't moved on.

Now she has Joia, an angel who to me feels like my daughter. It's very strange, but I feel like I have more kinship with her versus her biological father. Today, I felt like husband and dad all wrapped into one and I loved it!

All these things are happening in a maddening span of less than a week before I leave Atlanta. I now realize that what I had before is gone - forever. Things will never be the same after I set foot out of my loft on 7/31. A woman who I loved for most of my life is leaving me and that is not a bad thing. God showed both of us what could have been, but I now see that God has other plans for me, plans that I must follow through.

Today was another lesson in "me having no control in my fate 101". The things that are happening were decided long ago by a higher power. I am a pawn in a chess game trying to figure out the next move. Today showed that after it was all said and done I was the last man standing. That is my victory I carry with me next week.

I love Joan and Joia with all my heart and soul, but I have business waiting in Memphis. My time is now!